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hi Dr, i do not know why you did not answer me?
Oct 17, 2010
i asked three questions two on 12 oct and one on 15 oct, can i ask you why you did not answer me, i am a human being and i am worry too much and i need your help, thanks
Response from Dr. Frascino
See below.
Why aren't you answering my questions doc? Jul 25, 2010
I sent you two mails before but none of which were answered, it's been 5 weeks now and the back of my body started to feel alittle ache.
Please answer my previous questions I'm really scared and confused!
Response from Dr. Frascino
The main reason your questions have not been answered is that there is only one of me and gazillions of "yous!" See below.
Thanks for your understanding and do check the archives, OK?
i demand a response (WHY DONT YOU ANSWER MY QUESTION, 2010)Jun 16, 2010
i have asked u before but never gotten a response... my question is if i have a negative result at 13 weeks after exposure do i have to test at 6 months? if i have been operated by emergency like in the middle of 13 weeks the negative result would still be validated?
Response from Dr. Frascino
Sorry, demanding a response is not the way to actually get one. (See below.) Might I suggest you try an alternative approach, such as:
1. Searching the archives (the information you request is there already waiting for you).
2. Asking politely if you can't find it and using the word "please" if you have a question that isn't already in the archives.
Life is not fair nor do you! (WHY DON'T YOU ANSWER MY QUESTION, 2009) Mar 8, 2009
You usually receive a lot of compliments every day but today I have a critic for you. You says that when you didn't answer on some questions that's because the answer already exists in the archive. That's OK! But I read your last responses and see questions like " between two negatives people" and such questions with non-risk situations... I wrote you two days ago and did not get the answer,probably because the similar questions exists in the archive. But I had had a real risk(unprotected vaginal and oral with prostitute,and got symptoms etc. etc.)and asked you for a advice. Now my question would be why that questions with non-risk situations have advantage unlike questions with real-risk situation??? You probably won't answer this again but I have to ask you that.I feel much better now!Best wishes!And by the way I donated to your foundation...
Response from Dr. Frascino
"Life is not fair nor do you!" Hmm . . . OK, if you say so. (Whatever the hell that even means.) Thanks for your "critic." It gives me a chance to make several points:
1. This is not a delicatessen where each "customer" is served in order. This is an HIV information Web site. I have my reasons for selecting specific questions to post.
2. I receive literally thousands of questions from across the cyber universe on a continuous basis. I can only realistically respond personally to a very small percentage. Remember there is only one of me and gazillions of "yous!"
3. Regarding your concern, "unprotected vaginal and oral with prostitute and got symptoms . . .," as you can imagine you are not the first person to write in with that story. I've addressed posts like yours a countless number of times. Do you really think I would give you a different answer than I gave the last gazillion guys who wrote in with identical complaints?
4. As for donations to the Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation, these should be made only in the spirit of compassion, generosity and the desire to help those in desperate need. Donations should never be used as a bribe to try to encourage me to respond to a particular post. My work here at The Body is completely separate and independent from my foundation. My advice here is free and available to all, regardless of their ability, willingness or desire to make a charitable donation. OK?
5. You are not the first person to freak out because I did not select his or her question for a personalized response, and I'm sure you won't be the last. (See below.)
6. I encourage you to review the information in the archives. The information and reassurance you specifically request is there just waiting for your double-click, OK?
Despite the sarcastic and somewhat nasty tone of your post, I do wish you well and hope you will avail yourself of the wealth of information on this site directly related to your question. Also, I hope that tomorrow your mood ring is an entirely different color. Finally, I should point out you now have indeed received a personalized response from me. You're welcome!
Why you don't answer to me?;) Feb 6, 2009
Dear Bob, I wrote you twice,and you never responded.I know that you recive lots of mails,and that my question was answered lots of time..But I don't know how you have time than to answer those 'South Park' scenarios like this: 'I was givig a fellatio to myself,can I get a virus'..or...'I was in the gym and I touched the place where a guy touched,and before he touched that place he touched his penis and than after I touched that place I touched my penis,and now can I get aids?!'...And you don't have time to answer to people who are really concerned about something and they look for your answer to relief them a bit ..;)
Response from Dr. Frascino
See below.
im mad (WHY DON'T YOU ANSWER MY QUESTION????) Dec 2, 2008
im mad that you dont answer any of my questions!!!!
Response from Dr. Frascino
Don't get mad! There are usually very good reasons why I choose not to answer a specific question or questions. See below. Also, remember to please check the archives! Chances arte the information or reassurance you are looking for are already waiting for you!
no answer for my questions, why? Aug 22, 2008
Hi, this is the 3rd time I put a question about my HIV concerns but get no response. May I know why? Please let me know if you don't get me message.
Response from Dr. Frascino
Sure. (See below.)
does it mean something when you don't answer questions? (WHY DONT YOU ANSWER MY QUESTION???) Jul 24, 2008
If a possible transmission scenario is presented to you and you don't answer, does that mean that it is nothing to worry about? I've asked many questions but i've never got a reply.
Response from Dr. Frascino
There are many reasons I may not respond to a particular question (see below), the biggest being that I receive gazillions of questions on a constant basis from throughout the cyber universe. Consequently, I can only personally respond to a small fraction of what gets submitted. The math is anything but fuzzy. There are gazillions of "yous" and only one of me. And I can only type so fast. That's why I encourage folks to use the archives. Well over 90% of the questions submitted are identical or at least very similar to questions I've already answered and posted. Check it out!
Partial answers (WHY DONT YOU ANSWER MY QUESTION???) Apr 19, 2008
Dear Dr. Bob,
I would prefer if you did not post this email, as it is more just a question to help me understand things better. I first want to make it clear that this is not sent with any sense of entitlement, or anger, or anything negative ok?
I am just confused and scared by something. I sent you 2 questions in the last 36 hours or so. Q#1 was about interfacing with the website, which you answered (thank you for that) Q#2 was after I found your forum, and it was about symptoms and my exposure and whether or not I should be concerned. This was actually the more important question, not Q#1, in my mind anyway. Although you replied to Q#1 (again, thank you, thank you), I did not here boo from you on Q#2.
I now know that you must have read Q#2 (cause it was sent within 10 minutes of Q#1), but yet you did not reply. Whats going through my head right now is "Oh-oh...why wouldn't he reply? Does he think I am +, and has a policy not to reply to people he thinks is positive? Or, is he maybe just tired of answering this kind of question? Or...what else might cause him not to reply?"
You have done nothing bad to me, nor are you responsible for my anxiety / fear in anyway. I just was wondering if you can try to understand the situation and offer me something, anything, to qualm my jitters.
BTW, I have learned through your previous posts, and see that you are hiv+ and a survivor of 15+ years, which I admire and applaud. Thank you for your sacrifice and putting up with me.
Expecting nothing but hoping for something,
Response from Dr. Frascino
Even though you preferred I did not post this question, I have absolutely no other way of communicating with you. I do not send responses to private e-mail accounts. That's not the way these public information forums operate. I also don't keep track of how many questions a particular person is sending in. (Some questioners can be remarkably prolific and redundant!) Please note I receive thousands of questions on a continuous basis from throughout the cyber-galaxy. And although I do attempt to read them all, I can only respond to a very small percentage of them. There are several reasons I may not select a particular question for a personal response and posting. See below and hopefully you will then understand why you "did not hear boo from (me) on Q #2."
Whatever Doc. (WHY DONT YOU ANSWER MY QUESTION??????????) Apr 1, 2008
Thanks for not answering my question! Doctor. Thank God there is help out there with Doctors that know much more that you.
Response from Dr. Frascino
You're welcome. See below.
That worrying male nurse again Apr 1, 2008
Dear Sir, this is my 4th letter to you, awaiting your reply as before.As less serious as it may seem to you..the situation that I am in has been agonizing to me to say the least...I pray to you my dear Sir..please read my previous letter and please write back ...please
Response from Dr. Frascino
Hello Worried Nurse,
I have no way to retrieve old questions not selected for posting. See below. Resubmit your question if necessary. OK?
hey doc (WHY DONT YOU ANSWER MY QUESTION)
Feb 27, 2008
i've been writing you many times, apparently you ignore my questions.
do i have to pay to have an answr??how much? anyway fuck you
Response from Dr. Frascino
Hello Mr. Potty Mouth,
See below for an archived post addressing why some questions are selected for response and posting and others are not.
Should you decide to ever contact this forum again, I suggest you begin with a sincere apology or I'll have to wash your mouth out with soap young man.
your are a fraud and inconsiderate person (WHY DONT YOU ANSWER MY QUESTION) Feb 6, 2008
Dear Doctor. I wrote yo you several times in the past and during the present and i never recibe an answer from you. That i why i asumme that you are a complete fraud. I just think that you are no more than a resentful person and i doubt that that all the questions and answer that are writen in your page were real.
Response from Dr. Frascino
You never "recibe" an answer so you "asumme" that I'm a complete fraud. Well, you can assume and believe whatever you like. However, I am responding to this post, which just might put your egocentric, misspelled hypothesis into question. I'll repost something from the archives that hopefully will help you realize I cannot personally respond to each and every question, as I receive literally thousands from throughout the cyber-universe on a constant basis. I do, however, read all the questions that are submitted. Chances are the information or reassurance you are searching for is already waiting for you in the archives, which you have not taken advantage of, just as you have not taken advantage of your spellchecker icon on your computer.
If and when you do write back may I suggest you begin with a sincere apology?
getting no answers (WHY DONT YOU ANSWER MY QUESTION?) Dec 15, 2007
hi Bob,,l come to this site daily trying to see if u`ve kindly answered my question.All l get is disappointment as people who have asked after me have gotten theirs answers.thats all. thanks
Response from Dr. Frascino
I'm willing to wager that on your daily visits to this site, which end in frustration and disappointment because I haven't responded to your individual question, you may well have overlooked questions already posted that address your concerns. For example, this question about not getting a specific response from me has been addressed many times before. See below for just a small sampling! I suggest you read those archival posts and follow the advice given, i.e. check the archives, make sure your question makes sense, etc. If after doing so you still feel your question warrants a specific response, please resubmit it, OK?
"Questions most likely to be answered will be those of general interest to a broad group of visitors to this forum". Sep 15, 2007
Have a doubt regarding this line.I have been asking a question six times with a lot of mental agony and
pinned to it,and waitinf for an answer. It hasnt been answered yet, so Im just wondering WHO decides whether my question is "rare", the computer?? Maybe Im expecting too much from a website, but yours looks like the best and for me the only place to get an answer.I have no choice, Im not in the United states where aids is just another disease..with a lot of support groups,meds n stuff.We are not that lucky,doc.We need your answering more,its critical.
Response from Dr. Frascino
Who decides? I do! Please note I receive thousands of questions on a continuous basis from throughout the cyber-universe. I can only respond to a very small percentage, because there is only one of me and gazillions of "yous!" I do read every question. If your question has not been answered, chances are I have already addressed similar concerns in the past and the answer or reassurance you desire is already waiting for you in the archives. Another reason for not getting a personal response is that the question is too hypothetical or incomprehensible. You mention your question has been asked "six times with a lot of mental agony and depression pinned to it." Please note I'm not a psychiatrist. If your problem is mental agony and depression, you may well need the help of a mental health practitioner, not an HIV/AIDS specialist. I urge you to use the archives and also to review the question you are repeatedly resubmitting. If after doing that you still feel your question warrants a personal response, the best I can offer is that you try to resubmit your question, perhaps clarifying its intent.
Finally, as a person living with HIV in the United States, I can assure you AIDS is not "just another disease" here.
Why you don't answer questions... Jun 20, 2007
Over the years I've submitted so many questions, but they've never been answered. Sometimes the irrational part of my thought process thinks it's because the question might be too borderline to give a good answer, so you err on the side of not answering at all. For example, I recently asked a question about a friend passing me a glass around the rim with his dirty, fresh from the bathroom hands, and i I wondered if urine, blood and whatever he might have touched on the surfaces, door handles, etc, and then I had to put my mouth on the rim of the glass and I had a cut in my mouth where a molar tooth is coming through. Was I at risk? And when I didn't see an answer, I wondered if it might have been too borderline to answer? Please help. Maybe other people have the same fears when their questions go unanswered?
Response from Dr. Frascino
Over the years you've submitted so many questions, but they've never been answered????? Hmmm . . . well, let's see. You want to know the HIV risk of a friend passing you a glass touching the rim with his dirty, fresh-from-the-bathroom hands. You're concerned whether urine, blood or whatever might have touched the surfaces of door handles and then on to your friend's hands and from there on to the rim of the glass and from there into your mouth, which might have had a cut or perhaps a molar tooth coming in . . . . Hmmm . . . and you really wonder why I might skip over "so many questions" like these???
In addition you ask, "Maybe other people have the same fears . . . ?" That one I'll answer. Nope! No one is quite this neurotic.
ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oct 27, 2003
Doctor, I demand an answer to my question! I've asked it multiple times before over the past month and still you have not replied. Why not? I've waited long enough! It's my turn and I demand you answer my question about that whore who sucked me off. Tired of waiting, Mr. X
Response from Dr. Frascino
Excuse me, but you "demand" an answer? I'll bet you were an only child growing up, always used to getting your way, right? OK, here's your answer, but it may not be the one you were anticipating:
1. "Whore" is not polite or politically correct. Let's just call them "virginally challenged" pleasure professionals, OK? 2. This forum is not a delicatessen where you can march up to the counter and demand service. It's not your prerogative, and no matter how long you've waited, you just many not get a "turn!" 3. I have no way of back searching the thousands of e-mails that come flooding into this forum, so I have no idea which question you are even referring to. 4. This forum is dedicated to HIV-positive folks who have questions about
and . Being "tired of waiting" for a response doesn't qualify. You'll need to submit your blowjob questions to the Safe Sex/HIV Prevention Forum. But before you do so, I'd suggest you check the archives, as chances are quite good you'll find a similar question that has already been answered and posted, particularly if it involves nob-slobbing "virginally challenged" pleasure professionals.
Hi Doctor Bob Jun 17, 2007
I have ask 2 diffrent question at 2 diffrent times, But I never get a responce. Is there a reason? Did I upset someone at The Body by asking my question? If so could you please let me know. That way I will stop asking questions. I just found out in Sept 2006 that I am HIV positive and I am still learning about HIV through reading etc.
Response from Dr. Frascino
Upset? Nah, it takes a lot to get us upset. The reality is that I receive thousands of questions on a continuous basis from throughout the cyber universe. Unfortunately I can only respond to a small fraction of them. Why? Well, do the arithmetic. There are billions of you and only one of me. Honey, believe me, I'm typing as fast as I can.
Let me make several quick points about your post:
1. Since you are confirmed to be HIV positive already, are you certain you are posting your queries to the proper forum? This forum deals with safer sex/HIV prevention.
2. Often we skip over questions that we've already addressed in detail previously. Have you searched the archives for the information you desire?
3. All HIV-positive folks should be under the care of an HIV specialist. That specialist should be ready, willing and able to address any and all of your concerns.
4. Since you are relatively newly diagnosed and still learning about HIV, I would encourage you to peruse the basic information that can be easily accessed on The Body's homepage under "Quick Links." There you will find sections including "Just Diagnosed," " Basics" and "HIV Medications" among others.
5. Finally, if after availing yourself of the wealth of information on this site and searching the archives for your specific concerns, you still have a specific unanswered question not adequately addressed by your HIV specialist, I would encourage you to resubmit your question. OK?
Good luck!
no reply Dr Bob???? Aug 10, 2007
Dr Bob, i sent my question a few times and havnt had a reply??? i even made a donation not for a response but bc i believe in the cause.
Response from Dr. Frascino
I receive thousands of questions on a continual basis from throughout the cyber universe. Unfortunately I can only respond to a small fraction of them, no matter how fast I type, as there is only one of me and gazillions of yous! I do read all the questions submitted. If I have not responded to your question, there is probably a reason. The most common reasons include:
1. I've answered similar questions previously and the information or reassurance requested is already readily available in the archives.
2. The question is not understandable.
3. The question is too hypothetical.
I would suggest you review your question to see if any of the above three conditions might be the cause for your not getting a response. In particular I encourage you to search the archives! Once I read a question, if I choose not to respond to it for any reason, I do not go back and review it again, as there are way too many new questions piling in on top of it. So if after reviewing the above, you still feel your question deserves a reply, the best I can suggest is that you resubmit it.
Finally, thank you for your tax-deductible donation to The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation. As I have frequently stated, donations do not influence which questions are chosen for posting. My services here are free and available to all, whether or not they chose to make a donation to my foundation. Donations to The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation should be given only in the spirit of generosity, compassion and a desire to help those in desperate need.
Thanks for your understanding.
BOB PLEASE I SEND IN A MILLION TIMES BUT NO REPLY Mar 23, 2003
Dear Bob,I have been trying my luck sending in post like gambling in vegas but to no avail.So I just wanna try the last bet to see if you would see it.Few days ago,I was french kissing a street walker and she perform
on my penis behind the carpark.Now I am overwhemled with this sort of anxiety which is not right and I regret my foolish actionswhich made me wanna cry when I think of this.Ok so I did cry in the dark but that doesn't make my worries but only more stress and worried. I am planning I MUST GO FOR A TEST AT 12 WEEKS BY HOOK OR BY CROOK.Can you tell me something which will ease my worries like am I high risk or do I need a test so on ... By the way you did a wonderful job Bob and hope you continue helping people like us . WORRIED WELL PEOPLE.
PS:I ALSO TOUCH HER RIGHT BREAST AND A CONDOM WAS ON AND INTACT THROUGHOUT THE EVENT
Response from Dr. Frascino
Hello Worried Well Person,
Well, you may not have sent your question a "million times," but you did certainly send it repeatedly over and over again in rapid succession. I tend to delete these "mass mailings", because they clog up my mailbox. Again, all you mass e-mailers (and you know who you are!), please don't send the same question over and over and over again, as it actually decreases the likelihood I'll answer it. OK? You've been warned. Folks, if I don't answer your question in a week or 2, and you can't find a similar post in the archives, just resubmit the question again at that time. OK?
OK, now following that public service announcement, its back to you, Worried Well Person. If, as you state, "a condom was on and intact throughout," then your chances of contracting HIV are exactly zero - zilch, zip, nada. HIV cannot pass through a latex condom. Second, French kissing carries an essentially negligible risk, and touching her "right breast" carries no risk. (By the way, why only the right breast? Was something wrong with the left?) Stop crying, stop stressing, and stop sending the same question over and over again. If you had read some of my previous posts, you would already know I don't believe HIV testing is necessary or warranted for French kissing, right (and/or left) breast touching, and/or oral sex with a condom (behind the car park or anywhere else for that matter). If you want to get tested, fine. That's totally up to you. Twelve weeks would be the correct time for it.
I hope this sets your mind at ease. As for gambling in Vegas, I enjoy that, and I'm willing to bet very high stakes indeed that you are negative. OK?
Good luck and continue to play safe to keep the odds always strongly in your favor.
Question about re-submitting questions (should help clear your inbox) Aug 27, 2006
This one should be informative for everyone. In an effort to understand the system (and especially to help clear your inbox a little) how long should we wait to re-submit a question that you didn't pick to answer? In other words, if we post a question, and see you've answered a bunch of others later that day but didn't pick ours, that doesn't mean anything, right? Because maybe you're still making your way through the pile? Should we give it a day?
I'm re-submitting mine because I really need you. I called you a sexy Italian in my subject, so you know it's me. And no, I'm not taking it out. When you stop being sexy, I'll think about it.
By the way, the nerve of people who get all bent out of shape if you don't pick their question. You can only do the best you can, geez. I, for one, am honored to learn from you at all and will wait patiently and keep reposting. Look for me...
xoxo, Good girl in New York
Response from Dr. Frascino
Hello Good Girl in New York,
Good question from a Good Girl! How quickly I can get to a particular question depends on my travel schedule and a variety of other factors, including how many questions I have to read through before beginning to type my responses. As a general policy, here's what I would suggest if you have a question:
1. Check the archives. I've been answering questions here for a number of years and have built up a massive archive. The chances are actually excellent that the information or reassurance you are looking for is already waiting for you in the archives. Ninety-nine percent of the questions I read everyday I've already responded to sometime in the past!
2. If I don't respond to your questions, check to see if your question is reasonable and/or understandable. I can't tell you the number of questions I get from anxious nervous nellies who are so distraught that they wind up typing a bunch of gobbledygook, pleading that I help them, but not giving me enough information to figure out what they are worried about or never even asking a legitimate question! So I recommend rereading your question before resubmitting to see if it's a valid question and that it contains enough information for me to comment upon.
3. If I haven't answered your question and you've checked the archives and you've rechecked your question, then I suggest you wait two weeks before resubmitting. Yes, I can get up to two weeks behind at times. Believe it or not, I do have a life outside of my role as Dr. Bob here on the sex channel.
Stay well. Thanks for your question and your patience, Good Girl!
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