19 Signs Your Child Is Being Bullied and What to Do about It
What's Happening in Character Education?
Warnings signs that your child is being bulliedIf your child is bullied it means that a peer or peers are intentionally causing her or him pain. Peer abuse! Just the thought can send shivers down our spines.
But the fact is 160,000 children skip school every day because they fear being attacked or intimidated by other students. Reports also confirm that bullying is starting at younger ages and is more frequent and aggressive than before. And the cruel behavior increases with age. Chances are your child may be bullied.
Also troubling is that our children don’t always tell us that they have been bullied. I’ve spent many a meeting with kids who were repeatedly victimized and in clear emotional pain.
“Why didn’t you go to a trusted adult for help?” I’d ask.
Their replies were concerning:
“I did tell my mom. She didn’t believe me.”
“I tried to tell, but I got too embarrassed.”
“If I told my dad he would have only made things worse by yelling at the bully.”
“Why bother? The stuff my mom told me to try wouldn’t work.”
Repeated bullying causes severe emotional harm and can erode a child’s self-esteem and mental health. Whether bullying is verbal, physical or relational, the long-term effects are equally harmful. Both boys and girls report high levels of emotional distress and loneliness as well as lower self-esteem, loneliness, anxiety and depression. Some situations the outcome is tragic: the child may take his or her own life.
So it’s time to get savvy and learn the warning signs of bullying. Bullying is always intentional, mean-spirited, rarely happens only once and there is always a power imbalance. The victim cannot hold his own and often will need adult help. Your child may not feel comfortable telling you about his pain, but if you know these signs your child is being bullied and tune in closer, you might be able to start
in your home.
Signs Your Child Is Being Bullied
Here are possible warnings that a child may be bullied and needs your support. Of course, these signs could indicate other problems, but any of these warrant looking into further. See my blog, Signs of Cyber-bullying for signs of electronic bullying. Every child is different and any child can have an “off” day, so look instead of a pattern of behavior that is not typical for your child.1. Unexplained physical marks, cuts, bruises and scrapes2. Unexplained loss of toys, school supplies, clothing, lunches, or money3. Clothes, toys, books, electronic items are damaged or missing or child reports mysteriously “losing” possessions4. Doesn’t want to go to school or other activities with peers5. Afraid of riding the school bus6. Afraid to be left alone: wants you there at dismissal, suddenly clingy7. Suddenly sullen, withdrawn, remarks about feeling lonely8. Marked change in typical behavior or personality9. Appears sad, moody, angry, anxious or depressed and that mood lasts with no known cause10. P headaches, stomachaches, frequent visits the school nurse’s office11. Difficulty sleeping, nightmares, cries self to sleep, bed wetting12. Change in eating habits13. Begins bullying siblings or younger kids. (Bullied children can sometimes flip their role and become the bully.)14. Waits to get home to use the bathroom. (School and park bathrooms, because they are often not adult-supervised, can be hot spots for bullying).15. Suddenly has fewer friends or doesn’t want to be with the “regular group”16. Ravenous when he comes home. (Bullies can use extortion stealing a victim’s lunch money or lunch.)17. Sudden and significant drop in grades. (Bullying can cause a child to have difficulty focusing and concentrating.)18. Blam feels “not good enough”19. Talks about feeling helpl runs away.
What to Do if You Suspect Bullying but Aren’t Sure
Kids often don’t tell adults they’re bullied so you may have to voice your concerns. Review the signs of bullying and then ask direct questions.
“You’re always hungry: have you been eating your lunch?” “Your CDs are missing? Did someone take them?” “Your jacket is ripped. Did someone do that to you?”
Watch your child’s reactions. Often what a child doesn’t say may be more telling. Tune into your child’s body language. Silence is often powerful.
If you suspect bullying and your child won’t talk to you, then arrange a conference with a trusted adult who knows your child. If your child has more than one teacher you may need to meet with each educator or coach. Keep in mind that bullying usually does not happen in all school settings and in all classrooms. The trick is to figure out if your child is bullied and then where and when it is happening so you can get the right help for your child.
Hint: If your child has a classmate, you might be able to gain more information from the pal than your own child.
Meanwhile, keep an eye on your child. Children who are embarrassed or humiliated about being bullied are unlikely to discuss it with their parents or teachers and generally suffer in silence, withdraw and try to stay away from school.
Stress to your child you are always available, are concerned and recognize bullying may be a problem.
Emphasize that you believe your child and you are there to help.
Please seek the help of a trained mental health professional if the signs continue, intensify, or your gut instinct tells you “something is not right with my child!” Please!
Donate Today!
Search Character.org Blog
Follow Character.org
Latest Posts
Browse by TagNotting&Hill《诺丁山&之经典对白
<img STYLE="DispLAY: none" src="/blog7style/images/common/sg_trans.gif" real_src ="/ac/b.gif" NAME="paperPicArea0"
ALT="Notting&Hill《诺丁山&之经典对白"
TITLE="Notting&Hill《诺丁山&之经典对白" />
<img STYLE="DispLAY: none" src="/blog7style/images/common/sg_trans.gif" real_src ="/ac/b.gif" NAME="paperPicArea"
ALT="Notting&Hill《诺丁山&之经典对白"
TITLE="Notting&Hill《诺丁山&之经典对白" />
Hill《诺丁山》　　I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him
to love her.
Star Wars: Episode III — Revenge of the Sith《星球大战3：西斯的复仇》
　　Hold me, like you did by the lake on Naboo.
　　抱紧我，就像你在纳波湖边那样
Jerry Maguire《征服情海》
　　You complete me.
　　你让我的生命完整了
　A bird may love a fish, signore, but where will they live?
　　飞鸟或许会爱上鱼，夫人，但他们能活下来么？(
Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me《双峰：与火同行》
　　I'm gone, like a turkey in the corn. Gobble gobble!
　　我走了，就像玉米地里的火鸡。咯咯……(
Sin City《罪恶城市》
　　My warrior woman. My valkyrie. You'll always be mine, always and
never. Never. The Fire, baby. It'll burn us both. It'll kill us
both. There's no place in this world for our kind of fire.
　　我的女战士。我的华尔裘丽雅。你永远将是我的，永远是，永远也不是。永远不是。那火焰，宝贝。它会把我们都燃烧了，吞噬了。世上再没有什么地方，容得下你我这样的火焰
　Pretty Woman《漂亮女人》
　　And she rescues him right back.
　　而她也反过来挽救了他。
Love Story 《爱情故事》
　　Love means never having to say you're sorry.
　　爱情就是不必说对不起
As Good as It Gets《尽善尽美》
　　You're why cavemen chiseled on walls.
　　山顶洞人凿壁绘画，就是因为有你。
City of Angels《天使之城》
　　We were made to fit together.
　　我们注定是要在一起的。(
已投稿到：
以上网友发言只代表其个人观点，不代表新浪网的观点或立场。Repairing a Broken RelationshipUpdated on June 20, 2012"Throwing It All Away" by GenesisHow to Restore a Broken RelationshipOne of the hardest things to go through in life is the breaking of a relationship with someone, especially if you were particularly close to that person and have known them for a long time. Once a relationship ends it can be very difficult to restore that relationship. The more intimate you are with someone, the deeper the pain goes when things go wrong. In this article we will discuss how to repair a relationship that has been broken. We will deal with relationships in general. In another article I will discuss how to repair a broken marriage. The good news is that relationships can be restored if everyone involved is willing to put the effort into the process of healing. It may take time, but the end result is worth the time and effort.Obstacles to HealingBefore we can discuss the process of repairing a relationship, we need to consider what keeps restoration from happening in the first place.1. PrideI put this one first, because it the biggest and most common obstacle to the healing of relationships. I know the times I have been separated from a friend I struggled a lot with pride. When I came to the conclusion that either I was totally wrong or at least shared part of the blame, it was difficult to bring myself to accept responsibility. Pride keeps people apart. We know that if we humble ourselves and go to the other person and admit wrong doing, we will lose face- or so we think. I have learned that I lose face by not admitting my error. I save my reputation by swallowing my pride and taking steps to restoration with that person. There is no secret formula to overcoming pride in a broken relationship. We all struggle with it at some point. Simply, you must bite the bullet and go for it. For example, one of the keys to learning to swim is to just go head long into the water and go for it. Too, in a broken friendship, you have to just go for it, do or die. 2. TimeTime gets in the way of healing. What I mean is that the longer we wait, the harder it is to take the steps to restore that relationship. Paul, a first century leader in the church, wrote to the Christians in Ephesus to &...not let the sun go down while you are still angry,...& (Ephesians 4:26 NIV). That is a good rule to go by. That, in no way, means that you have to fix everything by sunset. It means simply to quickly move into the process of repairing the relationship. The sooner you begin the process of healing the better. Time has a way of desensitizing us, causing us to not see the need for that person like we do when the problem first occurs. Too, as time goes along we can allow bitterness to set in, which exaggerates the problem even more.3. Wrong voicesWe all listen to several voices on a daily basis. The voices can come from advice from people at work, a neighbor or the media. The voices can come from inside us. I am not referring to people who hear voices in an insane kind of way, but rather the voices that crowd our thoughts daily. We must use discernment, and not listen to the wrong advice, as that often will lead us to maintain the broken relationship. Obviously, some relationships are not healthy for us to keep, but more often than not we should listen to counsel that encourages us to restore those relationships.4. Unwillingness to mend the relationshipOne obstacle that is out of our control is the other person who is unwilling to make amends. That can create more pain for the person who wants badly to restore the friendship. I will write later in the article on how to deal with this, but the main thing is to be patient, and give them space while affirming your love for them.Steps to Repairing the Relationship1. Realization of Brokeness
I put this step first as I am surprised at how many people are oblivious to the broken relationships around them. Often, they do not see that they are a common denominator in a series of broken relationships. If you tend to have relationship problems with several people, take a look at yourself to see if you are the source of the problem.2, Humility
Whether you are the source of the problem or not, humility is a must if the relationship is to be restored. If you are the whole reason for the problem or just a part of it, it takes great humility to admit wrong doing. The rewards, however, are much greater than the struggle to admit your error.
If you are not the source of the problem, you still must take steps to reconciliation. Do not wait on the other person. It will take humility on your part, especially if you were not the cause of the break with the other person. 3. Patience
Patience is necessary. The relationship did not end overnight, so it will not be repaired overnight. You need to give each other time and space to think things through, and to heal. Patience is especially necessary if the other person is not willing to reconcile. Don't push them as that will drive them further away. Affirm your love for them, respect their wishes, and allow them room to figure things out.4. Talking openly
Talking openly about the problem(s) is a necessary step to healing. This will include a period of blaming, then heart searching, and finally finding a solution. Blaming is part of the process. We all do it. We blame each other for the problem. This is part of fighting through misunderstandings so that the truth can be found.
Next, we must move into a time of searching ourselves to see where we were wrong. It is extremely rare when only one person is at fault in a broken relationship. More often than not, both parties are guilty. We must search within ourselves to see where we went wrong without justifying ourselves. We must be completely open and honest at this point if wholeness is to be achieved.
Finally, we must move into a serious discussion to find the solution. Phrases such as 'I'm sorry' and other such phrases are not helpful. Genuine seeking of forgiveness and a desire to solve the issues at hand are what bring healing.
These steps of talking may seem simple, but when you combine the complexity of two humans into the equation it can get messy. Keep moving ahead. Don't let yourself get side tracked by non-issues. Hold on to hope all the way to the end.5. Forgiveness
Forgiveness is so necessary to keep a relationship alive, whether forgiveness is necessary for little or big problems. We must not let bitterness take root, as it will destroy us. Forgiving the other person will be easier if we remember our constant need of forgiveness. We tend not to forgive when we think of ourselves as being better than we really are. We all make mistakes, and should forgive as we want to be forgiven. Be generous in your forgiveness.
At this point many may wonder what true forgiveness is. To forgive is not to forget, as that is impossible. Once something is planted in your mind, it is there to stay. You can choose not to dwell on a certain thought, but you can't eliminate what is recorded. For example, when you delete something from your computer, it is still there. It can be found on your hard drive, but it isn't at the forefront of your computer's memory. To truly forgive someone is to move beyond the problem, and to move toward reconciliation with that person. I am a follower of Christ. One of the things He taught was that we are in a broken relationship with the Heavenly Father, but He, through Christ, moved beyond that and has moved toward reconciliation with us. He has made the first move, and now we must take the next step by moving toward Him by faith in Christ. I use that as an illustration of how to forgive. We must move beyond the problem toward the other person. Then they must move toward us to reconcile. Forgiveness then happens, and the relationship is made whole again.6. Practice the Solution
In a previous step we talked about finding a solution. That is good, as long as we put the solution into practice. For instance, if one of the problems is verbal abuse, then the solution is to use words that build up the other person. That is great, as long as you stop using abusive language and begin to use words that build up. All solutions to problems are only effective if you put them into practice.
Repairing a broken relationship can be very difficult, especially if problems have gone unchecked. However, there is always hope of reconciliation. As time goes along and problems grow it becomes more difficult, but it is still possible to repair the problems if both parties are willing to take the necessary steps. Never give up hope. Even if the other person is unwilling you must do your part to reconcile without harrassing them. You always want to give them the space they need, while affirming your love for them. Once the relationship is made whole again, the reward will far outweigh the effort.&
You can help the HubPages community highlight top quality content by ranking this article up or down.&{151} & &{6} & &{41} & &{30} & &{26}Recommended Hubs
MORE BY THIS AUTHOR
Please rate this article using the scale below. The scale is from 1 to 10, where 10 is the best and 1 is the worst.
Copyright & 2015 HubPages Inc. and respective owners.Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners.HubPages& is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc.HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, eBay, Google, and others.
(0.47 sec)}