E-mail this article
Invalid E-mail address
Add a personal message:(80
character limit)
Your E-mail:
Invalid E-mail address
Sending your article
This letter is about little feminism, purses, and lunch on Tuesdays. Not in that order. Enjoy it while I go dig up my old Women's Studies papers.
Q: Dear Meredith,
I'm a 25 year old attorney who graduated from Suffolk Law last year and hopes to get into politics some day. Aside from my career aspirations I am desperately looking for a girl who I can sweep off her feet and live happily ever after. I mean, I have never had a problem finding pretty girls and have always been a sucker for intellectuals like myself. But what I have found repeatedly is that I always run int the feminist types who hate being treated like a lady (hold doors, pay for dinner, walk on the outside of the curb, etc) and put their careers before anything or anyone else. Then there are the girls who use me because I have a good career and are only interested in what I can do for them (concerts, purses, jewelry, all within 3 weeks of the relationship) but never get emotionally attached.
I have always called myself a hopeless romantic because I believe that for all the money in the world it is only as good as the one you can share it with. More or less, I want to love and be loved. I want to take a walk, look at the stars, and get lost in the moment. I want to make a girl a romantic dinner and go out for ice cream. A girl who I can bring lunch to at work just because it's a Tuesday. A girl who likes it when little notes are left in her car and apartment ??? just to brighten her day.
Meredith, I don't consider myself clingy (40 hours work week + as a attorney) I am just someone who is looking for the real deal and not just a facade of love. You know?
Where are these girls, the ones who want to truly love and be loved? The ones who measures life not in minutes, money, or promotions but in moments? Is it that in the politically correct world we live in today is there finally no room for a hopeless romantic?
Sincerely,
Lost Without Love, Boston
A: LWL, you're a hopeless romantic? Really?
I assume you grew up watching romantic comedies. I blame romantic comedies for making people think they???re supposed to immediately sweep someone (or be swept) off their feet for no good reason.
I???m all for feet-sweeping, but that should be the second or third step in any good relationship. The first step is really getting to know someone as a peer.
My guess is that the women who aren???t letting you pay for their dinners (the dreaded feminists!) are put off by your approach. Your immediate push for romance seems disingenuous -- and I???m pretty sure it is.
My advice: When you meet a woman, really talk to her. No lines. No notes. Just real talk. Then, if you really like her -- and respect her --- you can take her for ice cream or whatever it is you want to do. Romance means so much more when you actually know the person you???re dating. It doesn't sound like you get far enough with these women to know whether there's any real connection.
And whatever you do, cut it out with the anti-feminist talk. It???s ridiculous. You say you want to find a woman who wants to be treated like a lady. Most women want to be treated like a human. Think about how you???d want to be treated and behave accordingly. Be a friend.
Perhaps dating a fellow lawyer would work. Salary and time spent at work would probably be equal. You???d be able to see through each other???s posturing. You???d have something real in common. Just a thought.
Readers? Are women no longer interested in kisses and ice cream and being swept of their footsies? Share your thoughts for our young lawyer, because I???m sure you have plenty to say. Once again, I'm away from my desk a bit today, but the interns have promised to be speedy with the comment approval. Oh -- Twitter .
-- Meredith
E-mail this article
Invalid E-mail address
Add a personal message:(80
character limit)
Your E-mail:
Invalid E-mail address
Sending your article
Posted by proudfeminist
Posted by Wendy
Posted by Sean P
Posted by The Dude
Posted by drew
Posted by J Bar
Posted by thats the kinda broad he is talking about
Posted by Mike
Posted by OK Cupid Fan
Posted by Amazed
Posted by OK Cupid Fan
Posted by Jack Atkinson
Posted by peanut4649
Posted by l'italiana
Posted by K
Posted by Soo B. Vious
Posted by Monty
Posted by doubtful
Posted by bumbly-bee
Posted by bornandbredinboston
Posted by More than friends
Posted by OK Cupid Fan
Posted by Mariah Carey
Posted by Anonymous
Posted by Skeptic
Posted by Brian
Posted by SoxSupporter
Posted by Babe-o-licious Harvard Doc
Posted by DrK
Posted by Dick Whitman
Posted by Kathleen
Posted by OTC
Posted by Mike
Posted by Matt
Posted by fairlee76
Posted by Rich
Posted by Tricia
Posted by Nice Girl
Posted by proudchauvanist
Posted by Don Juan From Lynn
Posted by still think i'm a girl
Posted by Dudesgotnofriends
Posted by Donald
Posted by twicefivemiles
Posted by algernon
Posted by Will
Posted by lisalisa
Posted by mz
Posted by Bee Bee
Posted by Rebes
Posted by Rose
Posted by Sally
Posted by neabob
Posted by fatima
Posted by Tricia
Posted by sabend
Posted by One of us
Posted by Another Proud Feminist!!!!!!!!
Posted by Emma
Posted by JB
Posted by be_joyful
Posted by vlnplyr2
Posted by anti-feminist
Posted by Cordelia Potter
Posted by babs
Posted by Jake Karnak
Posted by puja
Posted by icpshootyz
Posted by proudrealist
Posted by byubba
Posted by daphne
Posted by Walk this way...
Posted by fellow
Posted by JT
Posted by IScreamForIceCream
Posted by -M
Posted by Q97
Posted by fzappa
Posted by independent_woman
Posted by summa! baby bumma!
Posted by ida
Posted by Walk this way...
Posted by DudeGuyKidDudeGuy666
Posted by Also a hopeless romantic
Posted by ninja45
Posted by exvermonter
Posted by eireanch
Posted by Jacobus57
Posted by M
Posted by Bob
Posted by astrongromanticgirl
Posted by steven
Posted by Frequent reader.
Posted by D
Posted by schlocko
Posted by BR
Posted by schlocko
Posted by dontgetit
Posted by Adam
Posted by InGreatMarriage
Posted by Digging date 'Dith
Posted by England
Posted by 2nd year associate
Posted by 2nd year associate
Posted by Hoss
Posted by ilovewhenmyBFtakesmeoutforicecream!!:)
Posted by Kathleen
Posted by Rose
Posted by Joey
Posted by wantschivalry
Posted by J Bar
Posted by Bustoff
Posted by Kathleen
Posted by Still_letting_it_work_itself
Posted by Bill
Posted by proudoptimist
Posted by J Bar
Posted by Dfritz
Posted by nutella14
Posted by nothing but the best
Posted by all
Posted by RealRomance
Posted by sickbag
Posted by Ashton & Demi
Posted by you need a reality check
Posted by topher
Posted by Rico
Posted by Trish
Posted by StayingSingleInBoston
Posted by Carolyn
Posted by FeministRomantic
Posted by Peter Guzinya
Posted by StayingSingleInBoston
Posted by Anonymous
Posted by ACQ222
Posted by Jennie
Posted by Beantown13
Posted by Meems
Posted by CJnBoston
Posted by notatool
Posted by cc
Posted by CJnBoston
Posted by Jen
Posted by smartandsingle
Posted by bostowyo
Posted by bostowyo
Posted by Madra
Posted by bostowyo
Posted by romantic
Posted by Shannon
Posted by bostowyo
Posted by Kit Kat
Posted by thegoodolddays
Posted by Anonymous
Posted by Sigh
Posted by move on
Posted by Piccola
Posted by successful&&feminist
Posted by sm1231
Posted by sanity123
Posted by SunnyAlyC
Posted by yupokay
Posted by Mia
Posted by JW
Posted by BOSurmyhome
Posted by A Happily Married Woman
Posted by Outside of the Curb
Posted by Lala
Posted by FRoptimest
Posted by KMH
Posted by Anonymous
Posted by reba
Posted by wordsmith
Posted by newposter
Posted by MG
Posted by bostowyo
Posted by Kates Nonna
Posted by yupokay
Posted by emgirl
Posted by Anonymous
Posted by Amazed
Posted by measuringlifeinmoments
Posted by Simple Man
Posted by SoxSupporter
Posted by valentino
Posted by Sally7
Posted by Amazed
Posted by JellyBeans
Posted by Melissa
Posted by Laurie
Posted by Fievel
Posted by lotsofSINGLEfriends
Posted by T
Posted by John S.
Posted by lunchtime
Posted by doutful
Posted by anecdotal evidence
Posted by valentino
Posted by Jamie
Posted by bubbuh
Posted by bubbuh
Posted by steven
Posted by valentino
Posted by Loves Romance too
Posted by SuffolkLaw'08
Posted by g30rg3
Posted by DotGal
Posted by valentino
Posted by Searching for MrRight
Posted by done
Posted by yer mama
Posted by DudeGuyKidDudeGuy666
Posted by Pirates Wench
Posted by OTCisPatheTic
Posted by Taylor
Posted by Bob Dwyer
Posted by KitKat
Posted by RealityChic
Posted by Incredulous
Posted by Amazed
Posted by indiglodoe
Posted by JustForComments
Posted by George
Posted by Jocie
Posted by Daffodil
Posted by LuLuLemon
Posted by valentino
Posted by Nada
Posted by HOSS
Posted by Take it or leave it
Posted by Sally
Posted by John S.
Posted by The Dude
Posted by Hoss
Posted by Maura
Posted by E
Posted by WatchOutForTheNOWGang
Posted by chins
Posted by sexual chocolate
Posted by Laramie McSweensalot
Posted by Madra
Posted by Bud
Posted by shan
Posted by CPThree
Posted by singleinthecity
Posted by bostowyo
Posted by Susan
Posted by bostowyo
Posted by bklynmom
Posted by SA
Posted by Mikey &Insane& Monkeypants
Posted by sibdee
Posted by George
Posted by Monty
Posted by trueluv4eva
Posted by Gen
Posted by Rachel
Posted by Hoss's Arse
Posted by valentino
Posted by Ira Needleman
Posted by Bony Melon
Posted by Anchored_By_Romance
Posted by Danskat
Posted by yupokay
Posted by yupokay
Posted by Sally
Posted by MidLifeWife
Posted by it takes time, a whole lot of spending time
Posted by boredinacubicle
Posted by Meg
Posted by stephanie
Posted by skinnylatte
Posted by christina
Posted by two sheds
Posted by MidLifeWife
Posted by 40hours!?!@$
Posted by Maya
Posted by BroadcastingSOSMessagesToNoOne
Posted by NiceGuysFinishLAST!
Posted by Dizzle
Posted by linda
Posted by Nada
Posted by Loved and content
Posted by Man with Feminist
Posted by President of Rico's fan club
Posted by my two cents
Posted by BeYourselfNotYourJob
Posted by Henry VIII
Posted by Ally M
Posted by OK Cupid Fan
Posted by bidemytime
Posted by Sally
Posted by Jocie
Posted by Joe
Posted by dudeyousuck
Posted by NotMyName
Posted by blockerdu
Posted by Sully Sullerson
Posted by Captain Joe
Posted by Gen X'er
Posted by Lil' Mama
Posted by DC Lawyer
Posted by Jetta
Posted by Cynic
Posted by kayteestinch
Posted by Paul from Wellesley
Posted by Paul from Wellesley
Posted by hahajoke
Posted by k
Posted by billy13
Posted by Tam67
Posted by Kates Nonna
Posted by Rachel
Posted by Elizabeth
Posted by reindeergirl
Posted by Triviabuff
Posted by proudfeminist
Posted by steve in w ma
Posted by I understand
Posted by reindeergirl
Posted by Joe
Posted by Big fan of DrK
Posted by Ready to Find Love
Posted by syuasa
Posted by Amanda
Posted by Carol
Posted by Six Feet Under
Posted by yupokay
Posted by hessie swain
Posted by aod
Posted by Suffolk is better than BU
Posted by Robin
Posted by Lilshorty98
Posted by Gwenn
Posted by Mrs. Opinionated
Posted by Lilshorty98
Posted by Nelly
Posted by E
Posted by sconsetbogs
Posted by The Dude
Posted by Chi
Posted by Chi
Posted by Dukakis in a tank
Posted by aGoodPersonIsAGoodPerson
Posted by whatajoke
Posted by Michelle
Posted by Mikey &Insane& Monkeypants
Posted by Mich L
Posted by B
Posted by PM
Posted by Don't Be So Quick to Judge
Posted by Neens
Posted by Southern Girl living in Boston
Posted by PM
Posted by coconutty
Posted by William J. Ladoux
Posted by Suffolk Grad
Posted by fram
Posted by Missheru
Posted by PM
Posted by mc
Posted by Bill
Posted by Guest
Posted by B
Posted by RealAdvice
Posted by Anonymous
Posted by James
Posted by resipsalac
Posted by Julie
Posted by Richard
Posted by Irish7
Posted by Anonymous
Posted by TinaKristina
LOG IN TO COMMENT
Existing users
Please take a minute to register. After you register and pick a screen name,
you can publish your comments everywhere on the site. .
LOG IN TO COMMENT
Existing users
Please take a minute to register. After you register and pick a screen name,
you can publish your comments everywhere on the site. .
ABOUT LOVE LETTERS:
Welcome to Love Letters, the place for love advice (giving and getting). Globe relationship columnist
readers are ready to take your letters and tell you what's what. Have a question?
or email us at .
Let the shopping begin. Get exclusive promotions and sales from your favorite retailers. And never miss a great deal again.
Recent blog posts
is a Boston Globe columnist who follows relationship trends and entertainment. She offers daily advice on Love Letters & and welcomes your comments. Meredith is also the author of "The Singles," a novel about complicated relationships. Follow Meredith at and on . Love Letters can be found in the print edition of The Boston Globe every Saturday in the G section.
Ask us a question
Your question
City/StateRequired
E-mailRequired
Select a month
February 2014
January 2014
December 2013
November 2013
October 2013
September 2013
August 2013
April 2013
March 2013
Browse this blog
by category
Boston Globe Media Partners, LLCIs college really as important as our society today has made it out to be? | A conversation
This conversation is closed.
Is college really as important as our society today has made it out to be?
I'm a freshman in high school. My guidance counselors and teachers basically say tell me if I don't go to college my life will be miserable. I want to live a simple life. I have figured it out. I know that may seem weird, but that is what I want. I want to live in a small apartment with not much in it and just enjoy the small things in life. Is college actually necessary to succeed at all in life?
Closing Statement from Colin Petre
Thanks alot for all the replies. It really helped me. I'm probably just going to figure everything out my junior year when it's time to make it.}